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Teacher: Tell me Johnny, how do u like school?
Johnny: Closed.
Girl: Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boy: Damn sure, I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Santa: I tried dis new onion diet I read abt. Onion 4 breakfast, lun More... |
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Once Santa was busy reading the prices of shares on TV, suddenly, his servant came and shouted: Sir your wife fell down.
Santa: Sell her immediately.
Happiness is never perfect until it is shared with someone else.
Santa: Don`t you recogn More... |
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Santa: Don`t you recognize me?
Jeeto: No.
Santa: But I am quite well known in the movies.
Jeeto: Oh, where do you usually sit?
More... |
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Smoking of a cigarette won`t send you to hell. It just makes you smell like you have been there.
Interviewer: Congrats! U r selected. Ur 1st year salary is Rs 19000 & nxt year it will be Rs 26000.
Santa: Thank u Sir. I will join next year.
More... |
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Best way 2 propose a girl.
Take her 2 sea,
Say her 2 sit in a boat.
Then take d boat in d middle of sea.
Then say `Marry Me` or `Leave My Boat`.
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a fathe More... |
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Patient: Doctor! You`ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
Doctor: Next please!
Santa goes 2 a petrol pump, sees a board `Don`t use mobile here.` He picks his mobile phone, calls ev More... |
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Santa is going late to class.
He entered the class without permission, and said to Teacher: Hey Sweety! Carry on. Don`t Stop for me.
Santa: A sincere Traffic Police was suspended from his job.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Because he charged the Ambul More... |
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Sardar’s Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Don’t Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indica More... |
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Santa Singh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Than More... |
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Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Wife:What is 10 More... |
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Teacher: Translate it into future tense, `I kill the man`.
Santa: You go to jail.
Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.
A kid, after being beaten by his mom (sitting sadly)
D More... |
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Girl 1: What would you give a man who has everything?
Girl 2: Encouragement.
Banta: Have you a great weakness for beautiful women?
Santa: Not weakness but great strength.
I call my secretary `Good Time` because I always have good time More... |
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Young Man: I have been asked to marry hundred times.
Girl: Oh, who asked you to marry?
Young Man: My parents.
Son (coming from school): I wish I would have born a thousand years earlier.
Mother: Why my son?
Son: I would not have so much hi More... |
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Banta: Have you a great weakness for beautiful women?
Santa: Not weakness but great strength.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I call my secretary `Good Time` because I always have good time with her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
One boss fired eleven secretarie More... |
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Santa: A man pulled out 6 people from a burning house and still he was in jail.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Bcoz all the 6 were fire brigade staff. More... |
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Every man dreams of a beautiful woman.
So I do... I dream of you. More... |
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Your Girl Friend is
Smart, Intelligent, Sweet, Talented, Excellent, Romantic.
In short, she is your SISTER. More... |
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Banta: It is no disgrace to work.
Santa: That is what I tell my wife while cleansing the dishes. More... |
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| Divorce Plan |
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A Man and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide?
You have 3 children.
Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.
More... |
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| Stuttering Problem |
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A guy walks into his doctor's office and says, "Ddddoc, I've bbbeen sssttttuttering ffor yyears and III'm tired of it. Ccccan yyyou hehehelp mmme???"
The doc says, "Well, I'll have to examine you first before I can answer you."
The doc examines h More... |
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| Glad to be drunk |
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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely s More... |
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Reporter: Why have you been married nine times?
Actress: I guess it must be because I like the wedding ceremonies a lot.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx
If u fall, `Nobody` will care 4 u.
If u die, `Nobody` will cry 4 u.
Coz `Nobody` loves u.
Oh by the More... |
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| Humor News |
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The CPI-M on Tuesday warned the UPA government at the Centre would "face the consequences" if it went ahead with the Indo-US nuclear deal.
CPI-M politburo member Sitaram Yechuri said the outcome of the discussion between India and IAEA regarding More... |
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